Its been a while. I know nobody read this since apparently I lost a lot of reader and follower. Nah.. whatever, this is kinda my personal journal anyway.
So, how are you doing lovelies ? me ? I'm not that good. Magister sucks. Life a bit meh and obviously make me bored. I found out that even a mountain homework and assignment killing me slowly. The assignment sometimes just too cruel to write down. it is take my nerves. everyday like "oh, f*ck ! the deadline is 12 hours again" or "how the hell am I gonna write this ? Omg just killing me". and suddenly I'm buddy-buddy with the librarian, I spend most of my time there. Not that I'm complaining, I'm a voluntarily nerd. I just found out that I hate school even more than before.
I made friends with most of them. Sometimes I just easily made friend with people. I always need friend, a lot of them. Even though I like being alone now, not that I'm an antisocial, its just I enjoy the silence. I talk less than before, I dont share my privacy that much and I'm sort of widening my personal bubble.
I had new friends, lost my old friends and a bestfriends. Its sad when I dont even attempt to reconnect with my lost friends. I think I'm just tired to pleased anyone else and for once I stand for myself. Well, I will always have them in my heart, but I have to moving forward. This is totally sad.
I spent most my days with a lot of reading and watching movies and TV shows, mostly sleeping, browsing, blogwalking *even though not posting on mine*, complaining, and its around and around. every single day.
Yeah, my life is fun like that.
I kinda need direction with my life, most girls in my age already married, had childrens, or became a workers. but me ? yeah.. its not that I'm not gonna get married soon. I am apparently. still not like the idea. but I am... And I'm still trying to (hopefully) finish my degree, unemployed and still cranky as f*ck every second of my life.
This fine man (a long time) boyfriend of mine is preparing to propose me. Well, when most of girls of my age are jump happily with joy, or some might pleading for their boyfriend to propose by sending some code in their tweets, ME just frightned. I'm having panick attack.
The idea of marriage scare the shit out of me.
I'm not feeling ready, hopelly I am soon. It just make me uncomfortable. I might be an easy going one, but when the subject is marriage I dont feel like talking about it. The fighting, the life together forever thing, childrens, in law and more, seriously make me uncomfortable. Its like Gorilla throwing a dance party in my belly. I dont like this feeling. Its just icky right now.
Well, I guess enough about me ranting about my-oh-amazing-life *note the sarcasm*, so this is me, with my idiotic cheeky smile. obviously a fake one. trying to figure out what will gonna happen with my life. I'm still stubborn, a pain in the ass for my boyfriend. still make my parents frustated. still daydreaming about unnecessary things. still not a mature one. still wanting a lightsaber. But how bad can I be ?
The first step of moving on is embrace your flaws.
