Me, Him, Us, Them

I'm kinda screw up if talking about love. It's just every girl want a huge dose of romance in their life, and somehow not every boyfriend can gave it.. Sometimes disappointment filling inside my head, I think this is a wrong way of relationship, sometimes it feels so tired to handle all the complexness, Cause we both so stubborn, selfish, and cocky about ourself. It's feel like a never ending list of complains, and thousand time of break up and make up.. so exhausting and irritating..

 

And now this questions circling around my mind almost all the time, "Are we gonna make it? what are we fighting for? Love? is there still love?"

And I have no answer...

Lately I've Watched

I've got a terrible fight with my boyfriend, and it feel sucks... Anyway, I watched all this movie  in marathon way . And here it comes butterfly in my tummy..

 

 

I'm sorry for my selfishness... :'( you know I always love you.. :)

-kisses-

I Lost My Cat

I hate to cry but but I'm moaning loud when I realize I lost my cat,,, My neighborhood though that someone kidnapping 'em,, it feel like lost my soul,, when finally he would like to sleep in my bed and the next morning he's gone,,, :( That's the time I'm broken heart,,,

I wish you're happy wherever you are,,, kisses,,,

So,,, my friend steal my boyfriend??

It's a bit weird, and burning inside me. I was totally shock and angry at the same time. So, my girlfriend trying to stole my boyfriend,,? or He love being seducted by her,,? it's completely confused me,, 

A moment ago I feel something feels not right between them, she hold his hand in front of my eyes, and laugh like they were new couple or something, and why she keep mention his name every single time she talks about anything ?, isn't that a little odd..?? It's feel like I wanna chop her head and punch her nose with my fist. and her blood all over the floor. 

Is it me, or I am being fooled right now..? have I mention that she trying to text him all the time? arggh,, I admit that she's pretty, rich, popular, and she's a week single, but why did I do to deserve this from her..?? isn't her life is perfect enough..? 

I hate to act like an angry b***h, so I just cried. and I'm trying to ending everything with him, but he said nothing happen between them, and she is the one who trying to get his attention, and why would she do that? is she just originally a b***h, or he getting tired of me..? and love being spoiled by her...? we'll see...

LAST NIGHT AT MY ROOM

It's finally the last day I rent this room near from my university, a lot of things happened here, Sad or happy moments,,, I spend this night to the dawn with my closest friend,, Firing the Firework,, Shoot the photo for my shop, and chatting about Family outing episodes,, it's our favorite topic recently,, since it's unbelievably funny,, we even walks for a mile to buy more fireworks at the middle of the night,,, yeah,, happy moments pass so fast,,, like the sparkle from our fireworks,,, 

 

 

 

Dear Mira, thank you for being my friend and stay beside me whoever I was,,, thank's for the kindness and sweetness,,,

the sad mickey...

It's totally irritating today,, everyone seems to be happy while I'm in the edge of insanity,,, I feel wounded,,, broken,, confuse,,, it is irritating when I don't know what was exactly happen to me,,, with the paper lamp I felt my sorrow,,,

When you feel emptiness inside of you, but you don't know how to filling it, you feel like to cry,,,

I DONT GIVE A DAMN...

SUCH A FU***IN STUPID WORDS I HEARD TODAY....

honestly your word starting to bothering me,, I have nothing related to peaceful now,,, just shouting,, scream,, rude sms in the morning,,, without heard my explanation,,, I'm totally Tired of this fu**in Love stuff,,,!!!!! ugghhhhh,,,,!!!! GOD..!!!!



Really obvious that behavior is coming from A REAL MAN....!!!!!!!!

I'M SORRY...

I'm sorry for such an Irritating Girlfriend,,,
I'm sorry for my rude mouth,,,
I'm sorry for my bad behavior,,,
I'm sorry for my up and down mood,,,
I'm sorry for what I did,,,
I'm sorry for interfering,,,
I'm sorry for What I am,,,
I'm sorry for being a JERK,,,
I'm sorry for being spiteful,,,
I'm sorry for my stupidity,,,
I'm sorry for being such an Ugly Girlfriend,,,
I'm sorry for my unsafe feeling,,,


I'm sorry for everything,,,,,

IRRITATING...

My mind is blowing out,,, my heart pounding,,, and I feel depressingly irritating,,, I couldn't breathe,,, I thought I missed someone,,, here I heard a weird voice inside of me said ' just stop,, and letting him go,,,'

can i...??

Hujan,,, Tetes air di jendela,,, Secangkir susu coklat,,, Blogging,,, dan Lagu ini,,,,

Pernahkah kau merasa... tidak pernah merasa sepi...
Pernahkah kau merasa... tidak pernah merasa sunyi...
Aku tak pernah...
Aku selalu....
Merasakannya....
Kosong....
Kosong....

Pernahkah kau terbangun.. dan merasa semua... semu...
Pernahkah kau inginkan... lari dari dari dirimu... kini....
Itulah aku...
Aku selalu...
Merasakannya...
Kosong....
Kosong....

Pernahkah kau merasa... tidak pernah merasa... sepi...
Pernahkah kau merasa... tidak pernah merasa... sunyi...
Aku tak bisa...
Aku selalu...
Merasakannya...
Kosong.....
Kosong....
Kosong.....

#Poppy Sovia-Kosong (Originally by Monti Tiwa ost Mengejar Mas-mas)

Hear and Download here

SO SAD....

ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME ...

baru sadar,,, orang-orang yang menganggap aku adalah teman mereka sudah bisa dihitung sebelah tangan, mungkin aku punya banyak salah sama mereka, atau mungkin aku tidak pantas diakui teman oleh mereka,,, yang aku tau pasti saat ini hatiku sakit banget,,, mungkin memang aku pantas sendiri,, hehehe,,, ini seperti moment dimana kamu tersadar akan kenyataan,, yang bikin ga enak hati seharian,, and ga bisa tidur semaleman mikirin dimana letak kesalahanmu sampe ada yang tega berbuat seperti itu,,,

beberapa memang berhenti berbicara, tanpa aku tau alasan apa yang membuat mereka berbuat seperti itu, beberapa ada yang mencibir langsung di hadapanku, salah aku apa,,,???



mungkin aku memang ga famous, ga punya keahlian yang bisa bikin kalian terkagum-kagum dan membuat kalian ingin dekat denganku, aku bukan cewek kaya yang bisa memberikan kalian banyak uang,,, apakah susah hanya untuk menerima seseorang apa adanya,,?? dan menerima semua kekurangannya,,,?? manusia itu ga ada yang sempurna,,, kita harus sadar akan diri kita sebelum kita menghakimi kekurangan seseorang,,, bisa saja orang itu merasa tersakiti,, merasa dirinya itu semakin bukan apa-apa,,,

apa kamu mau seseorang depressi atau bunuh diri cuman karena kamu menyiksa batinnya,,, yang bekerja itu hati dan pikiran dalam hal ini,, bukan tubuh,,, dan fatal akibatnya untuk kondisi psikologis seseorang,,,,

diatas semuanya,,, Hanya Tuhan yang bisa Menilai seseorang,,,,

mudah-mudahan kalian sadar....

i lost my spirit,,,,

When they said,,, 'I don't count you as my friend' I swear to God I wanna Kill them right a way,,,
When you're honestly give them everything,,, from tears to joy,,, and they just kicking you out their life,,, Suck's,,,!!! and you really regret that you are their friends when they sad, when they need to lie about something, when they need everything about you,,, totally sucks,,,

I DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS,,, IT SUCH A BAD ROMANCE....

well I decided to make a confession,,, hard to understand actually,,, remembering he's my best friend,,, now everything feel awkward and bizarre,, I think I don't remember him anymore,,, Ahh,,, such a huge mistake I made,,, Now we can't be friend anymore,,, and it seem we made a distance from before,,, Ahhh,,, How Stupid I am,,, Now I cant take him back,,,, >.<




why this new year I'm drowning with everything,,,,???

why...??

why I'm so stupid,,,??

need a new face.... :(

i'm feeling so ugly lately,,, jeleeeeekkkkk banget,,,, dari dulu juga sih sebenernya, huhuhu... selalu inget ngiri sama cantiknya wajah orang dari dulu,, pengen rambut ikal, punya rambut lurus selurus-lurusnya walaupun belum pernah di bounding atau di smoothing,, idung lebar,, bibir lebar,, mata lebar,,, semuaaaaa lebar,,,,

well, sebenernya bukannya ga mau mensyukuri ciptaan tuhan,, cuman rasanya diri aku acak-acakan banget,,, mungkin sudah saatnya ke salon buat potong rambut dan perawatan,, hmmmm,,, rambutnya udah melewati bahu, tapi blum jatoh banget jadinya belok-belok deh bawahnya,,, grrrrrr,,,, esmosi kalo lagi gini,,,,

sepertinya harus segera ke salooonnnnn....!!!!!

I MISS YOU....

to see you when I wake up,
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
to know that you feel the same as I do,
is a three-fold Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain
So would I be out of line if I said ' I miss you' ?

I see your picture,
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.

I know I'll see you again, wether far or soon.

But I need you to know, that I care

And I miss you.....

#I miss you by Incubus

hear and download here

you know,,, this songs is unbeliavebly breathtaking,,, everybody knows it,,

make you feel you cant breath and your heart beating like crazy if you're missing someone, in my personal case,,, my boyfriend doesnt have that romantic side,, ever,, and I always heard this song alone when I'm getting to sleep in my room. But when you hear this song, wheter he's romantic or not you always feel He's the one for you, and you just feel the good things you had with him,,,,

But I need you to know, that I care... And I MISS YOU Babe....